There's nothing to tell.
It's just some guy I work with.
You're going out with the guy.
There has to be something wrong with him.
All right, Joey.
So does he have a hump and a hairpiece?
Wait, does he eat chalk?
I don't want her to go through what I did with Carl.
Okay, everybody relax.
This is not even a date.
It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Sounds like a date to me.
I'm in high school, in the cafeteria..
and I realize I'm totally naked.
I've had that dream.
Then I look down and I realize there is a phone..
- Instead of
- That's right!
Never had that one.
All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring.
What do I do?
Everyone starts looking at me.
They weren't looking at you before?
Finally, I figure
I'd better answer it.
And it turns out it's my mother.
Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
He says, "Hello,"
I want to kill myself.
I feel like someone pulled my intestine out of my mouth..
- and tied it around my neck.
Carol moved her stuff out today.
- Let me get you some coffee.
Stop cleansing my aura.
- Just leave my aura alone, okay?
- Fine, be murky.
- I'll be fine. I hope she'll be happy.
- No, you don't.
No, I don't.
To hell with her. She left me!
You never knew she was a lesbian?
Why does everyone keep fixating on that?
She didn't know.
How should I know?
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Did I say that out loud?
I told Mom and Dad last night.
They took it pretty well.
So that hysterical phone call from a woman sobbing..
"I'll never have grandchildren," was what? A wrong number?
Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now.
Can I tell you what the answer is?
Hey, you're single.
Have some hormones.
But I don't want to be single, okay?
I just want to be married again.
And I just want a million dollars!
- Oh, Monica! Thank God!
I went to your building..
and a guy with a hammer said you'd be here, and you are.
- Can I get you some coffee?
Everybody, this is Rachel, a Lincoln High survivor.
This is everybody.
Chandler and Phoebe..