Sophia Amoruso
PORTFOLIO / PENGUIN
G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) LLC
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York 10014
USA | Canada | UK | Ireland | Australia | New Zealand | India | South Africa | China
A Penguin Random House Company
First published by Portfolio / Penguin and G. P. Putnam’s Sons, members of Penguin Group (USA) LLC, 2014
Copyright © 2014 by Sophia Amoruso
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
Photographs courtesy of the author
ISBN 978-0-698-15490-2
Version_1
To our customers.
For without them I would never have become a #GIRLBOSS.
CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction: The Chronology of a #GIRLBOSS
1
So You Want to Be a #GIRLBOSS?
2
How I Became a #GIRLBOSS
3
Shitty Jobs Saved My Life
4
Shoplifting (and Hitchhiking) Saved My Life
5
Money Looks Better in the Bank Than on Your Feet
6
Hocus-pocus: The Power of Magical Thinking
7
I Am the Antifashion
8
On Hiring, Staying Employed, and Firing
9
Taking Care of (Your) Business
10
Creativity in Everything
11
The Chances
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The Chronology of a #GIRLBOSS
I’m bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.
—Wreck-It Ralph
1984: I’m born in San Diego on Good Friday, which was also 4/20. Before you think this is some kind of omen, let me assure you that the only thing I smoke is my competition.
1989: I smear poop on the wall in kindergarten; perhaps my first true artistic expression.
1993: My fourth-grade teacher thinks something could be wrong with me. The list includes ADD and Tourette’s syndrome.
1994: My dad takes me to Wal-Mart, where I ask a sales associate if they have “the Ren and Stimpy dolls that flatulate.” This is evidence that I possess both a large vocabulary and a slightly twisted sense of humor.